wednesday : an outline.

7.08 am > i wake to the sounds of my neighbor{s} above me. this is almost exactly thirty minutes before my alarm should be switching on. this is nothing new. a conciliatory sigh escapes me.

7.45 am > i get out of bed.

7.58 am > finish showering, drink protein shake. {1 cup 1% milk + 1 scoop whey. i gots ta get my branched chained amino acids, baby!}

8.15 am > walk to ken's artisan bakery on 21st. the butter croissant looks delicious, but the chocolate pound cake looks equally tempting. i feel the need to get something new. i finally concede and get a small coffee & hazelnut pound cake.**

8.45 am > realize i was given the end piece of the pound cake which means it is significantly larger and coated with more icing than the typical piece. euphoria envelops me.

8.55 am > arrive at my desk. begin contemplating writing this very post.

8.56 am > i avoid opening both sketchup and autocad knowing full well that within minutes my glass will be brimming with guilt for not hitting the ground running. instead i discover that jason whitlock wrote one of his finer articles, alex gordon hit his first homer, and that sean hughes' myspace profile has hit rock bottom.***

9.01 am > guilt overwhelms me and i surrender.

9.45 am > remember that i yesterday i got a hold of my bloody valentine's 'loveless' and immediately beginning listening to it. work productivity begins to decrease. it's distracting. this is a sign that i like it.

11.30 am > randy hasn't returned from eugene. his redlines aren't any less confusing than when i first arrived this morning. i bother halliday with questions.

11.45 am > more questions for halliday.

11.51 am > more questions for halliday.

12.09 am > i ask halliday to clarify another note. i probably asked him to draw another sill detail or something which he has probably already drawn for me twice, if not three times prior. i'm suddenly very aware of the collar on my shirt. my mouth is pretty dry, and i'm getting hungry again. at this point, i'm happy to just draft incorrectly rather than bother anyone with more questions.

12.10 pm > randy walks in fresh from the road. we have a meeting in twenty minutes. i have 1/20th of the materials necessary prepared for the meeting.

12.20 pm > howard arrives. he's ten minutes early. no one from our team who should know this knows this.

12.30 pm > peripheral thoughts cloud my mind at the least opportune times. randy runs upstairs to meet with howard, while i continue to struggle with sketchup and photoshop. i really want to read bill simmons' latest article, even though his style is starting to wear thin. lately he's resorted to childish and inflammatory remarks about nearly everything. he's even rationalizing the red sox recent yankee~esque spending and opulance. what a fucking hypocrite. i really hope i can catch meet the press sunday morning. who would have thought electronically superimposing a 'supergraphic' pattern onto a 90-foot ceiling without the image becoming too distorted or blurry would prove to be such an arduous task? shit, deerhunter's show is this thursday? ... the glycemic index ... i have odwalla juice downstairs! ... peanut butter ... terminal illnesses. coupons. scented candles. i'm almost certain i asked myself if i had enough change in my pocket for an afternoon coffee. how am i still employed?

12.45 pm > i grab randy's laptop for the meeting. the cable in the conference room doesn't work right away. at this point, i'm beyond the point of panic.

1.12 pm > sketchup miraculously works. howard doesn't seem impressed by anything we show him. i nervously laugh and respond with nonsensical mouth-farts to everything he says to me. i once corrected howard when he thought kansas state was in emporia. this is the same man that signed michael jordan to nike. you should see how people interact with this man. without entering into the slippery slope of indecent hyperbole, i honestly feel like i'm watching vito corleone here as he calmly allows the perpetually destitute and needy approch him with him respect and humility and neediness and fear, hand kisses and all. it's incredible. i'm almost positive he told randy to never let me come to a meeting again.

2.45 pm > the meeting is a 'success.' josh, halliday and i take a stumptown break. i return and distract myself for maybe ten minutes crafting another mix for laura.

3.30 pm > REDLINES REDLINES REDLINES REDLINES!!!

5.45 pm > randy reveals the price per square foot of this project. i'd share, but i'm pretty sure most of you would never hear from me again if i did.

7.00 pm > more discussion, more changes are made. i'm pretty sure halliday will cry in the morning when he see's the thing we've added/subtracted/thrown in his lap.

7.30 pm > more redlines, sketching and dinner at DF {"day effay" en español} in the pearl district. if i were a pretentious pearl-dweller, i'd call it 'elevated mexican' but i'm clearly above that. needless to say, the meal was fabulous. try the ceviche and the green chile garlic trout.

9.45 pm > home. sweatpants. slippers. music. chamomile.

10.06 pm > receive email from gretchen leggitt containing a link to an article written by kurt vonnegut. i read approximately three paragraphs and stop. i return to complete this lame blog.

11.59 pm > i finally complete this obviously senseless post, reconsider posting it, post it, brush my teeth, fall asleep to cat power's 'covers record.' i'll wager there's a 30% chance i'll sleep through the night.

**i typically never order what my first instinct tells me to order.
***by hitting rock bottom, i mean i respect what he's doing.

comin' up in your grill, i'm so trill.

> days ago i uttered the following,

"without boundaries, restrictions or deadlines, i am completely lost."

the context of this statement is irrelevant. however, this innocent musing carries far more weight now than it did before. before what? before mono.

contracting this little virus has exposed one important truth; attention to my physical health has far outweighed my attention to my mental health. i plan on doing something about this. immediately. however, it should be noted that in terms of my daily routine over the past fourty-five days or so, i would be utterly unrecognizable to people i know outside of the portland metropolitan area. to wit, i have been nearly inactive for the first time in decades, i have felt reasonably well-rested for the first time in years, my consumption of caffeinated beverages declined significantly, my consumption of alcoholic beverages has remained at absolute zero {that's legitimate 0 degrees kelvin, kiddos} for nearly three weeks, and i crushed the full arrested development catalogue in a matter of days. i have officially turned over a new leaf. needless to say, i plan on returning to my old self-destructive ways as soon as the blood tests are taken.

having said that, i am genuinely thankful for having to endure this 'ordeal.' it is easy to say this now now that the migraines have subsided, my tonsils have returned to their healthy, unswollen state, and i've regained enough energy to walk more than thirty minutes without feeling frail and light-headed. however, it's 10.30 on a friday night ... and i'm ready to go to bed. i can't help but wonder if this is just some cruel joke. either that, or this is merely my personal donnie darko~esque worm hole-view into my inevitable dependent depends-wearing existence. sooner rather than later? my magic ball says "yes."


> shortly preceding my comment regarding boundaries, deadlines and like, the following bundle of profundity escaped my lips;

"i'm not addicted to the pain pills. i'm just looking for excuses to take them."

now you tell me; are these the words of a high-mindful young professional or a paltry pill-popper? i'm not going to insult anyone's intelligence by providing an answer.

my doctor prescribed oxycotin for my throat pain, muscle soreness and severe headaches. however, now that the aforementioned characteristics of my viral affliction are vacationing in the land of remission, i now find myself with a surplus of the drug. so what's a twenty-four year-old with a dimming sense of adventure and a relatively low level of responsibility to do? probably rationalize taking one or two per day, that's what.

i'm really puzzled why i'm even exposing myself like this ... but that's neither here nor there. the point is this rationalization is downright childish, and i'm fully aware of it. the ridiculous part is that the side effects are minimal, and really don't even warrant taking a pill in the first place. in the end, i know this is just a fleeting period of experiementation; something i probably should have been doing years ago between studio projects, date parties and sorority serenading. and here i am again, wishing i wasn't so lame in college.

> color me shocked that chuck klosterman is now writing for espn.com. moreover, i am shocked i continue to read everything this guy writes. technically, i should be drawn to his verse, given his undeniable witt and impressive array of musical name-checks, but at the same time should feel a genuine repulsion because of his transparent pretentiousness and growing appeal to the masses.** i mean, let's be honest; the man is a certifiable genius when it comes to noteworthy analysis and commentary regarding today's societal norms and rock music. however, this newfound {legitimate} knowledge of athletics is just too good to be true. this is a newly added wrinkle that may be too much for me to handle. i mean, anyone who has been exposed to his writing that posseses even the slightest hint of intelligence or at a minimum, a public state university education can assess that mr. klosterman a.) is a pretty good writer b.) is completely full of shit c.) should receive an oscar for his ability to fool his readers into buying into his love for collegiate athletics.

> i seriously think i could eat thirty spears of roasted zucchini and never be full. this thought occurred to me this afternoon as my boss and i discussed acrylic ceiling panels and customized perforated mdf panels.

> the following are a few hillarious exerpts from a royals spring training broadcast last week between ryan lefebvre and denny matthews. this pretty much explains the beauty of spring training baseball:

RL: What’s the best song you’ve ever heard on the xylophone?
DM: You know, there’s several, but i'd say flight of the bumblebee and beethoven’s fifth. both are excellent on the xylophone. both will get you out of your seat with the speed and drama.

RL: And number 90 is at bat. I don’t know who this guy is.

DM: Of all the mangers in the league, lou pinella is my favorite when walking to the mound. Second? hal mccrae. It took mac 6.5 minutes to walk to the mound. *intense laughing*

> approaching shows i really hope i can attend;

Deerhunter. 04.12
Ted Leo & the Pharmacists. 04.16
Sunset Rubdown. 04.20
DJ Shadow. 04.23
Klaxons. 04.24
The Walkmen. 04.26
Be Your Own PET 05.02
Tapes 'n Tapes or Explosions in the Sky. 05.04
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. 05.11
Peter Bjorn and John. 05.14

**given these facts regarding his personality traits, my disdain for this man clearly proves once and for all that i wouldn't be able to stand a minute of my presence if i were meet myself on the street.

this life is sucking the life out of me.

spring is springing. let's see what's spinning :

> !!! - myth takes. {easily accessable, wonderfully enjoyable, funky dance-rock. recommended.}
> arcade fire - neon bible. {no where near the level of funeral. still recommended.}
> deerhoof - apple o'. {if creative, cathartic and pithy punk rock gets you off, i strongly recommend.}
> el-p - fantastic damage. {hot beats. politically charged. recommended.}
> cat power - the covers record. {classic sad-bastard cuts. cautiously recommended.}
> of montreal - hissing fauna, are you the destroyer? {my appreciation for this band continues to grow. please don't call it a concept album, even though ... it is ... might be ... still recommended.}
> aesop rock - mixed tape {care of one laura richardson. recommended. aesop rock ... not laura.}

> so gatorade just released a new product; GATORADE AM. foolish consumers rejoice! at last, we finally have an energy drink made specifically for morning workouts. obviously, it is imperative that the train of gratuitous and unnecessary consumption continues to roar down the tracks. i mean, you have support the econony, right?

truth be told, i possess a pathetically mammoth-like affinity for gimmics. you can find them almost anywhere; rappers, architects, processed food, detergent, etc. they're quite hilarious, yeah? moreover, hearing about this new product didn't anger me as much as pique my curiosity. somehow, i'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. who knows; maybe this new product actually showcases something new, great, important and/or pracitcal like a ground-breaking ratio of sucrose to glucose or something really scientific like that.** then again, my saying this could just be a transparent way of expressing my unwavering contempt for target marketing and mass product development, not to mention the people that are destined to fall for their claims.

> oh, did i mention i'm sitting in my 400 square foot apartment drinking tea in my boxers on a saturday night? i'm pretty sure this gives me little right to think i'm better than anyone else.

> my neighbors above me are throwing trash out their window again. a rotten cantelope just hit the ground.

> so i've broken down, and i'm posting some demo pics*** to demonstrate that i have a job, and have actually been doing something 'professional-like' since i left the plains. but first, a little background information.

for the past several months, myself and a few other designers have been furiously working on a new therapy/fitness center for the university of oregon. before our involvement, the university's facility was severly outdated, undersized, and was poorly equipped to handle a top tier pac-10 program. we basically gutted a fraction of the building and doubled the square footage to make room for a vastly improved taping/pre-game/office space, as well as an expanded pool therapy/physical therapy space adjacent to the aforementioned taping area. both reinforce the athletic department's honest devotion towards continually setting the curve in every aspect of collegiate athetic performance, wellness, recruiting and success. lastly, i swear i didn't copy that last sentence off a brochure or an email from one of the partners.

now, i realize i'm being thoroughly vague, not only with the description of the program, my involvement with the design, the budget and the client, and how the long hours have slowly and painfully chipped away at my once lively and well-balanced human spirit and reduced me to an unstable and sickly pile of bones and flesh ... but going through this process has sped me to higher rpm's than i could have ever imagined, and slowed me to a snail's pace in an instant; a speed i haven't been forced to endure in several years.

simply stated, this project has been a blessing and a curse. when it is finally constructed in time for the upcoming football season in august, i'll have plenty of pictures to display. for now, photos of the demolition.

> excavating for the pool pits and pier installation.



> looking south at future pool area with cardio beyond.


> future pool pit area.


> outside the facility.


> looking east at future therapy/taping room.

> looking south at pool area and offices on left.

**do i really need to call out my sarcasm here?
***shameless pun.

MEET ME, meet me. over the mountain.

OH MY GOD! for two entirely separate reasons >

1. i have not taken the time to 'write' {is this writing, really?} for some time now.
2. royals baseball has begun.

clearly the latter has higher blogging potential. wouldn't it just be ironic if i were to dedicate an entire blog post towards my apathetic and unsightly blogging? yea.i didn't think so either.

> the other day i decided to stop by one of my reliable at-work entertainment venues, 810whb's live stream, when i was unexpectedly greeted by ryan lefebre & hall of famer denny matthew's soothing mixture of baseball insight and analysis. the royals spring training opener was about to start against the angels in tempe. suddenly, my mood was elevated, my eyes wide and attentive, my outlook on life improving with every second.

i'm going to say this now; if i ever move back to the midwest, evenings at kauffman stadium {if it's still there} will be the biggest reason. lumped in a close second are the standard friends/family factor.

> when i'm feeling really shitty, i mean completely aimless, ridiculously small and pathetic, the cure as of late is to listen to dismemberment plan's "emergency & i." loudly. over and over. and i realize this is one of those of things/traits/habits that i could easily internalize; keept securely wrapped up within. however, this has become such a consistant force that the people i know best should probably know this about me. i highly recommend it as your next musical investment. essentially, it fills the gap that nirvana's 'nevermind' plugged when i first started to get acne and thought of my parents as complete idiots.**

> i'm literally hours away from leaving the city for an incredible weekend-long cabin-hang somewhere on mount hood. can you do that in kansas city? perhaps the equivalent would be something along the lines of walking around zona rosa or slamming whiskey shots at charles hoops. okay. so that's not quite the same. i really love kansas city. i really do.

> in any event, because i'm becoming exponentially lamer by the minute, i've included videos of some of the past shows i've attended. some are clips of the actual show, some aren't; it's pretty easy to distinguish which is which. i'm confident this day marks the starting point of wester assimilation's slow and painful demise.

DEERHOOF.



MY MORNING JACKET.



THE THERMALS.



THE ROOTS.



NEKO CASE.



**i no longer consider my parents idiots. they are, in fact, wise and wonderful.

a split second of pregnant silence follows.

recent {shameless} musical splurge >

deerhoof > the runners four.
deerhoof > friend opportunity.
pj harvey > stories from the city, stories from the sea.
pavement > crooked rain crooked rain {LA's desert origins}
el perro del mar > el perro del mar.
grizzly bear > yellow house.
menomena > friend or foe.

this day was topped off by seeing deerhoof perform at the wonder ballroom.

having said that, i could easily indulge in a blathering holy-crap-deerhoof-melts-my-face blog-rant, but to take such a 'bold' position is about as trite and uncreative as a Jeneé Osterheldt column. rather, i'm going to hold off an any critical analysis of the show, and will save it for my next blog post.


> so it's no mystery that today's fast food isn't the greatest culinary option; it's overal convenience and chemically enhanced deliciousness aren't helping alleviate type II diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. however, we humans are strongly predisposed for adaptation. therefore, isn't it logical to assume that one day the human race will find itself immune to the consequences of blindly internalizing copious amounts of trans fats, synthetic sugars, and hormones? i realize that even considering about such a topic is purely masturbatory in nature, not to mention a moot point, given my personal eating habits. it still seemed like a topic worthy of the blogosphere.


> did you notice? the super bowl sucked; color me disappointed. although i'm not even sure why i feel this way. this game has not only become another american made holiday rationalizing consumption and gluttony, but is without question the most over-hyped game in all of sport. perhaps my cynicism is simply a function of my growing insouciance towards most professional sports {with the exception of baseball, of course}. maybe i'm just a sourpuss ... either way, the honest highlight of the evening/afternoon was the guiness ice cream float i shared with laura at the thirsty lion in downtown portland after a few other guinessexes and dinner. why lie?

in that vein, as i walked to work the following morning past weiden + kennedy, the Herculean adertising firm behind coca~cola, honda, and nike among other similarly Herculean corporations, i couldn't help but wonder what this monday meant to them. this is a pretty significant event, yeah? so do they celebrate? does work continue as usual? from the looks of their allied works'ed space containing a ten foot cardboard bear, wire sculptures and flat screens showing round-the-clock art-house films, i'm under the impression these creative geniuses like to have a good time. the lights were off inside; the place seemed peaceful. it only seems logical that they collectively took the day off to bask in the glow of some of the finest commercials a super bowl audience has ever seen. that chaotic grand-theft-auto-fantasy-land turned utopian-cheese-ball-fest really resonated with me. clearly, this is a sign of my all-too-human predisposition for the guilty pleasures of pop culture junk food.


> does anyone know how to get candle wax out of sweatpants?

> lately, i continually find myself preoccupied with my own personal use of various figures of speech. specifics include anaphora, distinguishing between antanaclasis and pun, irony and pun, simile and metaphor, and the classic overuse of alliteration.**

> i have started putting half & half in my coffee. i used to think this distorted the flavor, but now i'm in this phase of 'supplementation' and 'accentuation.' **

> menomena's song 'the pelican' has a guitar hook that sounds strikingly similar to jimi hendrix's 'machine gun.'

> i am tickled that pitchfork so freely expresses their hatred for the band Jet.


> has my blog helped people get to 'know' me any better or less? and if so, is that such a good thing? have i said too little, or entirely too much? at this point, i'm reticent to say yes or no, although there have been moments when i have most certainly questioned my course. basically, i'm starting to feel like this public display of self-expression isn't giving me the satisfaction that it once did. i don't know. maybe i'm just having a bad day.

honestly and humbly, i remain,

just another midwestern 20~something transient certain of his uncertainty.

**stolen from my myspace profile.

wamp wamp. what it do? {what it do?}

favorite words at the moment >

> abject.
> wreck.
> superfluous.
> indicative.
> the phrase 'the long and the short of it is ...'
> consummate.
> hella.
> feigned.

> i could {should} write a blog about this blog. i'll go days without any ideas {it's on my mind constantly, duh.} and then i'll wake up one morning surrounded by 10,000 topics to choose from. it's not the like the world suddenly looks more interesting, it may just be that i get the 'itch' to point out the obvious, list foods i'm currently avoiding/consuming, avoid architectural discussions, and expose my general inability to accept my surroudings as they are.

> so what's the deal with downloading music? i know it sounds trivial, and i realize asking this question reveals my ineptitude as a creative thinker, but seriously, i am genuinely put off by this trend.

i could sit here and falsly reminisce about 'the days when buying the album meant something,' but i won't, mostly because i don't even know when that threshold was crossed. moreover, that whole nostalgic 'remember when' act is so tired; especially from people like me. my preference? complain about the here and now.

i suppose as long as certain bands continue to utilze the liner notes as a means to express themselves on a different artistic level, giving the purchaser/fan a smaller window into their tastes and attitudes, the 'record' in it's purest sense will always be fashionable.

> i am a little shocked by the reaction to the statement i made last week regarding radiohead's legitimacy. people still like them that much, huh? really? seriously? that's cool. i guess. in hindsight, i probably should have considered the consequences, and i may have lost quite a bit of respect from my friends and well-wishers as a result. however, let the record show i merely agreed with the idea when my boy aaron let it rip while i was in kc over christmas break.** i'm no where near creative/bold enough to come up with stuff like that on my own.

> so i'm told mtv's newest and hottest show, 'maui fever' has a character named corbin. this guy sounds legendary. his profile, from mtv.com reads as follows :

"Corbin's the kind of guy who can't take anything or anyone too seriously. His main goal is to enjoy himself and since he grew up in Hawaii, he knows that exactly how to live the island life to the fullest. Corbin is always reeling in the ladies with good jokes and a good time. He's a class clown and a total showoff which gets him laughs and babes. With his oblivion to authority and straggly sun-bleached hair, he's a dead ringer for Jeff Spicoli in 'Fast Times.'"

it's only a matter of time before this coincidence is shamelessly knocked around amongst people i have the misfortune of meeting. the anticipation is palpable.

> not having access to cable is without question a blessing in a curse, but i have become fully aware of this truth over the course of the nfl playoffs. for starters, if i'm in need of some 'digest' or 'analysis' my only option is the concise and typically thought proking {yea, i said it} variety of online columns/articles. i find these to be far more beneficial than the canned daily bullshit and drama drummed up by the general sports media.

secondly, the super bowl is without question the most over-hyped and over-analyzed sporting event in the universe. if anyone is willing to disagree with this, speak now. no? good. didn't think so. anyway, it just seems like everyone collectively creates a checklist of topics to belabor. peyton's less-than-stellar playoff experience, the bear's 4-6 defense, rex grossman's propensity for interceptions, indy's run defense, etc. are going to be broken down, built up, and then broken down again. sounds pretty boring if you ask me. if i were a member of the media, i'd probably be drooling over and dreading these two miserable weeks.

the saving grace, the coup de gras, the reason-to-give-a-shit about this year's event is pretty muched summed up by jason whitlock here. once again, the man continues to bring it.

> i drank a bud light this weekend. psyche.

> so bush was greeted with a healthy amount of applause regarding his short-sighted and short-winded discussion regarding alternative fuels; i get that. but how funny was it to watch the senator from iowa as he furiously clapped wearing the widest smile on the planet?

> when i first saw stellastar* i discounted them primarily on the grounds that i believed the asterict to be a transparent means of distinguishing themselves; basically, an annoyance. now i really like them.

> has anyone ever used wingdings? ever?

> chocolate fat-free skim milk? this is too good to be true.

> i think i finally understand what modernism actually means.

> so i hear there are restaraunts that carry special menus for women with no prices. where are they? and why can't i meet a girl that prefers this particular arrangement?

warmly,

the corner of burnside and oak.

**I listened to Kid A while i wrote most of this post.

you were the wrecking ball before the building fell.

self-indulgent stream-of-consciousness post? um. that sounds good. i'll have ... some more.

++++++++++++++++

> this next week of work is going to destroy me. it's just as my eye-twitching affliction was starting to diminish, too.

> i might have the pearliest whites this side of the cascades since receiving an oral.B electronic tooth bruth from my biological parents this past christmas. it has four different types of brushes. FOUR. my favorite is the double-brush brush.

> indisputable proof my mom is legit? kansas city royals Sluggerrr bobblehead doll for a christmas gift.

> indisputable proof my father is legit? he recently bought a pair of non-pleated, non-cuffed pants at Halls, and "cannot wait for Bush to leave office." i feel like i hardly know him anymore.

> i'm working the pomegranate into my diet.

> i've been drinking numerous cups of yerbe mate tea at work, and have only made two trips to stumptown in one week. needless to say, i'm questioning this decision.

> my girl tq just moved to milan. {oh. hey, tq.} i am obviously, at a minimum, envious. however, i am also aware this "jealousy" is not only trite, but also unfair. myself, along with numerous others, had our moment in the {tuscan} sun. it's time to move on.

> italy was NOT the apex of our lives. get over it.

> my current project has officially taken the blinders from my eyes; interior architecture is a genuinely respectable and fascinating field of work. without question, this stands in stark contrast to what was shoved down our impressionable throats at ksu.

> i spent saturday night watching the movie sideways, drinking wine, starting this post, listening to music, and being generally anti-social. i'm pretty happy about this decision.

> sideways is my new brokeback mountain. and by that, i mean sideways has earned the title of "the most unbearable, overrated movie corbin has ever seen." all i could say to myself while watching it was "i wasted a damn netflix rental on this shit?" i should have listened to you, jill.

> the only thing keeping me from moving from northwest portland to southeast portland is my gym membership in my neighborhood; it expires in eighteen months. feel free to lose as much respect for me as you want because of this.

> let's think about those automated hand driers in most public restrooms for a moment. do people really think they're doing something orignal/funny when they scratch away at the "PUSH BUTTON" instructions so that it says "PUSH BUTT"? am i just as lame for even noticing this, let alone pointing it out?

> latest annoyance : girls who have three pages of pictures on their myspace profile, 75% of which {give or take a few percentage points} are with several different guys. what are you trying to prove? are you that desperate for attention?

> latest annoyance II : anonymous blog comments.

> i still don't know what irony means.

> i still don't understand why people like dane cook.

> i will never fall out of love with pearl jam.

> i've put a lot of thought into it, but i can say with confidence that sean's girlfriend coral may be the coolest 'girlfriend of a goodfriend' i've known up to this point. this may require further blogging analysis.

> man-crushes? i'm all for them.

> the my morning jacket concert this past tuesday changed me.

> radiohead? most overrated band since the doors.**

pipe-dream, alternative careers i wouldn't bat an eye switching to >

> major league middle reliever. preferably not with the royals, definiately not with the cardinals, hopefully with a team that's capable of beating out the twins for a wildcard position, only to take the red sox to seven games and lose as because of my errant throw to third base in the bottom of the 11th inning.
> pitchforkmedia.com writer {or any position for that matter. i'll update excell contact sheets. i'll change diapers. i'll listen to jet's 'get born' and eat snack wraps from mcdougles. anything.}
> peter gammons' apprentice.
> rick steves' apprentice.
> elliott nickell's legal intern.
> evan weir's therapist.
> starchitect.
> tenured environmental studies professor at sarah lawrence college.
> neko case's cabana boy.

albums on repeat >

> be your own pet - be your own pet.
> my morning jacket - it still moves.
> deerhoof - the runners four.
> beth orton - comfort of strangers.
> pearl jam - vitalogy.
> liars - drum's not dead.
> clipse - hell hath no fury.

singles i cannot stop listening to >

> joanna newsom - sawdust & diamonds.
> oneida - up with people.
> maxïmo park - going missing.
> midlake - roscoe.
> the french kicks - cloche.
> rock central plaza - my children, be joyful.
> rock central plaza - sexyback.
> the rapture - whoo! alright - yeah... uh huh.
> figurines - the wonder.
> the whitest boy alive - wonder.
> el perro del mar - god knows (you gotta give to get.)

nothing~man. nothing~man. isn't it something, nothingman?

dave abbruzzese.

**stolen from aaron prader.

come join the intellectual priesthood.

here's a proposition; live a life of absolutes. go believe in something. formulate a conviction.

but, what if that wasn't necesarily a good thing?

in a very general sense, college taught me that apathy cannot nor should not ever be considered a virtue, no matter what the circumstances. i still believe in that ... sort of. but for whatever reason, i was put off by my early surroundings; a three-story bullshit think-tank built on drinking games, ignorance, and racism. i left a few things out, good and bad, mind you. still, i'm starting to wonder if the joke is on me.

basically, i'm beginning to ask myself if certainty could actually be the most convoluted and grotesquely rusty double-edged sword every conceptualized. i am certain of this. that is irony, right? right?

no one {with the exception of pathologial extremists} is out there recommending a life of brutal extremes. furthermore, i'm yet to entounter an individual who has continually encountered exhausting periods of hot to cold, wet to dry, up to down and walked away feeling physically or mentally stable. i probably should thank my parents daily for passing on a unwavering groundedness and general honesty that keeps my mind from floating away into the clouds. at the same time, i could have used encouragement from above to be irresponsbile every now and then. but that's beside the point.

obviously, no matter what the medium, whether it be architecture, politics, art, revolt, etc., nothing has ever been accomplished or achieved without some sort of self-absorbed steadfastness and stonewall conviction. john ashcroft, martin luther king, rem koolhaas, osama bin laden; these people, while heterogenous in their relative contexts, would by no means agree with one another on a variety of topics, but, frightenly enough are artificially bound by way of outright certainty and faith in one's beliefs.

so what can i possibly be certain of, at 24, given my general lack of experience in just about every life-situation imaginable?

right now, i'm just more aware of my humanity; the simple fact that i will struggle. with everything. especially myself. and everyone/everything around me. outside of that, there isn't much else to be certain about. i've chosen a 'career,' but what does that actually mean, really? there's a chance i'll eventually outgrow these constrictive shoes of condescention and sophomoric over-intellectualism, but as of late, i'm beginning to wonder about that one, too.

maybe what it boils down to is if you go through life unsure where you stand, it's nearly impossible to courageously face the doctrine of another.

so is this a long-winded rationalization for my behavior? perhaps. is this an acknowledgement of personal flaws and shortcomings? warmer. maybe. i suppose it could also be interpreted as a veiled apology to anyone i've ever subjected to my bullshit, too. furthermore, it should be noted that this isn't me getting misty-eyed with personal enlightenment and self-awareness. lukewarm.

and so it continues; the slippery slope of self-evaluation. maybe this is where a lifetime of 'design' will prove validating; my personal coup de gras or something. after all, this architecture thing has been a sort of 'escape' from all of the chaos and uncertainty daily life brings. there is a strong bond there; so much in fact that while shacking at my parents residence i pulled out my impressive collection of notebooks and goldenrod interlude handouts from mick charney's history of architecture classes. this proved to be therapeutic, if not amusing. he was teaching us the alphabets of architecture, and it made sense. now the only letters i know by heart are Z, G, and F. but seriously, people of such strong character like mick charney are so rare, and so damn necessary. big realization there, right? whatever. either way, it's expereinces like those that make me want to send the CAPD a check. that's scary.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so. um, how about those chiefs, huh?

outside of a socializing among friends and family, waking my parents with continual late-night arrivals, and purging leftover and expired meats and cheeses in the refrigerator, not much else was accomplished during my extended break in the king city. open mornings equated to oversized omelettes, large pots of coffee and reading the star cover to cover.

people i sincerely regret not seeing over break >

> brad & becca.
> sam loring.
> molly mulloy.
> aaron ross.
> kyle knecht.
> ruth fisher.


approaching concerts i plan on attending >

> my morning jacket.
> of montreal.
> deerhoof.
> camera obscura.

good news. i was't moved to a different project at the office. life can be stable at the bottom.

year in review.

looking back, the past twelve months have most certainly been a tumultuous ride, seeing as i was able to participate in a joint studio with a world class spanish architect, help create a documentary, graduate from college, move away from home, get a job and endure the growing pains of the real world. still, contrary to common belief and practice, it most certainly did not fly by.

now - 2006, musically, kicked ass. who knows; maybe this 'awakening' is simply a function of me finally expanding my scope of taste and this year is no different than any other, but i'd like to think that this year was something special. hopefully 2007 continues along the same path and proves that the quantity of quality beats was not an aberration. so, the 2006 year in review.

FAVORITE ALBUMS. {alphabetically}

> beirut - gulag orkestar
I have been in love with this album since the moment I bought it months ago, but the main reason this gets the ‘top albums’ nod is because I witnessed them live. Basically, i was not expecting a 20-year old and eleven other members of his full blown Balkan pop orchestra to put on such a prodigious spectacle. The album draws in-the-aeroplane-over-the-sea comparisons, and justifiably so. Still, neutral milk hotel isn’t a pimple-faced three-time college drop out drawing creative inspiration from an impromptu trip to Europe.

> the evens - get evens
Being exposed to fugazi in college was a significant moment in my growth as a music fan. my boy evan threw 'the argument' in my lap third year, and I haven’t been the same since. Essentially, when ian mackaye speaks, I listen. I bought this album without even listening to it, but it didn’t take long to fall in love with its leftist post-hardcore minimalism and rusticity. This time, it is full of ‘contained’ rage; a sea change from previous freak-out anthems like ‘epic problem’ or ‘caustic acrostic.’ It was refreshing to hear that familiar voice entrenched in gritty acoustics and Amy Farina’s harmonization. Solid album.

> the hold steady - boys and girls in america
i really really really like this album. however, when i first bought it, i really really really did not like this album. the e-street band impersonation seemed deliberately kitsch, the over-promotion made it feel like it was on the fast track to TRL, rumblings of 'concept album' were comical, and i was not in the mood for another shameless jukebox-rock album filled with accessable riffs and 'been thee done that' ballads. then one day i got over myself, lightened up and came to my senses. this was, in fact, exactly what i needed. when you're twenty-four, restless, scatterbrained and perpetually unsatisfied with everything you see, nothing comforts you more than hearing heartbreaking stories of general quarter-life crises; binge drinking, perpetual drama, youthful indescretions. comfort music ... yeah.

> neko case - fox confessor brings the flood
This album’s significance seems to go beyond its sonic uniqueness and multi-generational appeal. Neko case is the reason girls are wearing cowboy boots in both offices and nightclubs. She’s making people forget about stevie nicks. Her stunning growth in popularity has had a profound social effect. Granted, her ascent has been paralleled by other bands-in-genre-limbo such as the drive-by truckers and wilco, but can you really think of any other artist who has taken country and folk, two traditionally forlorn and unpopular styles, combine them with the punk rock scene and elevate them to mass appeal?

> joanna newsom - y's
who said classical music is boring? This a five-track masterpiece from the graceful fingers of a classically trained harpist/pianist/elf proves otherwise. her voice is off-putting to some; a combination of an eleven-year-old and a chipmunk. But the results are magical. Watching her perform live was absolutely mesmerizing. Her tiny body serves as the anchor to her enormous harp, her arms flailing in a blur, and her voice cuts you to the core. You can’t help but sit on the edge of your seat. Furthermore, her songs are fairytale stories filled with baroque imagery; vineyards, astronomy, alliances between farm animals. I’m two listens away from buying the chronicles of narnia and reading them all over again. Lastly, and perhaps more importantly, she exudes a certain professionalism and stateliness that is a necessary departure from the typical routine of indie-posturing and ungrounded pretentiousness. Even if I hated her music, my respect for her as a musician could fill the cosmos.

> justin timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSound
Justin timberlake is a dangerously talented musician, and I absolutely love this album. It’s as simple as that. Furthermore, if it hasn’t already occurred, this monumental album, a vacillation between polished pop hooks and sexually charged disco-funk, should finally eliminate the naysayers and quiet the ‘boy-band’ nonsense. Some of the boys-2-men~ish charm in a few of the songs isn’t his strong suit, but he more than makes up for it with it’s never-ending mystery and grandeur further reinforced by powerful cover art imagery. He’s ascended to the status of pop icon, whether we all want to admit it or not.

> the knife – silent shout
2006 was a year of great personal growth. Fears were tackled, motives were questioned, and restlessness was palpable. All cheesy self-awareness minutia aside, if you had hypothesized in January that I’d have my mind shattered by the sound of a Swedish synth-rock brother/sister dynamo, I’d probably have a chuckle, think for a second, and then humbly agree with you. but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, this album receives the award for ‘most necessary for corbin to hear.’ The knife gives me something that no other band gave me this year; musical perspective. I can’t decide if Karin Dreijer’s shrill but sexy voice instills a haunting fear of zombies and the apocalypse or a schoolboy lust; either way, I’m a new believer in the power of gorgeously layered and cacophonous electronic rock.

> the sunset rubdown - shut up i am dreaming
powerfully cryptic tales of revenge, retribution, anger, and love all orchestrated by the masterful hand of spencer krug? um. that sounds good. i'll have that. triangles, sythesizers, and legend of zelda~esque synth provide for a euphoric path down indie rock lane. krug is basically riding the momentum that he built with wolf parade last year, and continues to leave no doubt in music snob's collective unconscious who the best musician is in music today.

> the thermals - the body. the blood. the machine
the portland natives deserve some local love. they might be the most pissed off group of hipsters to leave the northwest since those three crazy kids vomited on george bush's limozene years ago. Furthermore, the liner notes are hilarious. A blindfolded image of jesus with arms stretched overlooking apocalyptic plumes of smoke and sunshine? color me inspired. Essentially, Hutch Harris is incensed with just about anything political, and pretty much attacks everything within reach with his violent and neurotic diatribe.

> tv on the radio - return to cookie mountain
simply brilliant. seeing them perform back in october only solidified their legitimacy. their energy and passion is unmatched. Most songs exude a tremendous sense of urgency; others reveal their sense of humor. Overall, it sounds dangerous, and at times, even eerie and with every listen, something new and fascinating ambitiously reveals itself. the layering is just magnificent. furthermore, there wasn't an album this year that crossed such a variety of genres. is it art-rock? is it hip hop? soul? hypothetically, if a gun were put to my head and i had to choose my favorite album of the year, i'd probably go with tvotr's second effort. coincidentally, this was also the album i was looking forward to the most this year.

> the walkmen - a hundred miles off
perhaps my second most anticipated album this year, although this one took quite a bit more convincing. their indie-garage rock roots are still visible, but they're clearly eager to explore different territories. the first few listens i was ready to declare it a flop; a snorefest. however, one visit to npr's live feed of one of their shows and i was hooked. suddenly the album's cathartic and raw sound made complete sense. it feels live, scattered, maybe even a little ugly. while some people find hamilton leithauser's dylan~esque croon a tad gimmicky, i'm in love with it. it's as if this was a demo tape stolen out of some Record Collection exec's briefcase, and some intern stole it and spread it to the masses. this album get's the 'security blanket' award. reliably awesome.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

almost made it :

> arctic monkeys - whatever people say i am, that's what i'm not.
musical junk food. nothing more. nothing less. the energy and youth is palpapable. their name sucks.

> band of horses - everything all the time
as tony vontz said, "band of horses wrote a better built to spill album in 2006 than built to spill." still not tops, though.

> the black angels - passover
this album completely blew my mind. I’m still partial to BRMC, though.

> cat power – the greatest
this selection pretty much replaced Sea Change in the ‘somber and brooding’ department. “willie” might be one of my top 5 songs of the year.

> islands - return to the sea
just another incredible band from montreal. their sounds lands somewhere between the arcade fire and the animal collective.

> my morning jacket - okononos
one of my top five favorite bands. somehow i feel like there's something lacking here.

> m.ward - post war
considered his weakest album. saw him live. incredible show.

> the raconteurs - broken boy soldiers
intimate secretary was stuck in my head for at least two months back in the spring. still, the album seemed to end just as fast as it started.

> ratatat - classics
I missed their show a few weeks ago with the faint. But, I saw Joanna newsom instead. I don’t regret this decision one iota.

> wilderness - vessel states.
dark, powerful, explosive. it has a beautiful overall 'movement' and pace. still, it doesn't quite make my blood boil.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

too soon to tell:

> figurines - skeleton
i just got this the other day. i like the cut of their jib. if the strokes had a greater sense of urgency from pounding double digit shots of espresso and were hit with a flaming lips~esque shot of adrenaline, they'd sound something like this.

> the dears - gang of losers
saw them live. they’re legit, but they haven’t convinced me yet. a poor-man’s Morrissey, perhaps?

> swan lake - beast moans
I’ve listened to three songs on this album. This may take some time.

i think vintage has become vintage.

a long, hard week of work means my the spareseness of my refridgerator has become comical. at this moment, it contains:

> salsa.
> one leftover sweet potato.
> two chicken breasts.
> coconut.

> two twenty two ounce shakespere stouts from rouge brewery.
> yellow curry sauce.

> worchestershire sauce.
> tobasco sauce.
> one grapefruit.
> minced garlic.

so last evening around 4.30~ish randy, halliday and i broke out two bottles of prosecco over a recently printed set of elevations and an updated floor plan. needless to say, the productivity was tactile. this seemed to be the fitting way to start off tq's going away night; an evening that involved innumerable whiskey drinks, some intermittent microbrews {err, pbr}, terrible dancing at the goodfoot, admiring amateur breakdancers at the goodfoot, concluded by the most horriffic meat lover's scramble at this late night diner in northwest portland.

so here's saturday morning again; paralyzed by my aches, pains and dehydration. i've been reduced to an inanimate object. drinking tea because grinding coffee takes too much time. boiling water on the other hand is a much more efficient process.

clearly, i haven't used this blog to do much more than indulge selfishly in my own thoughts and postulations; this much is clear. the irony here is that the most significant part of my life at the moment, my obligation by definition, my purpose, is something i never really talk about. the monster i'm referring to is my career.

so i've been struggling with this. is it an issue of privacy? am i turning into my father? perhaps. but i think it has more to do with how i've grown accustomed to discussing anything architecture/design related and being greeted with blank stares, terrible questions, deafening silence, and swift changes in discussion. so why push it? why force empty discussion down people's throats? clearly, my fear of imposition as well as perpetual self-doubt are behind the wheel here.

but maybe that's okay. it goes without saying that any sort of expression, even something as minimal or trite as a self-indulgent blog are in a way, an act of escapism. i can burrow into my own little world here and hopefully gain some perspective in the end. then again, maybe i should just go talk to people.

is this thing on?

so, i couldn't help but notice that my last post received noticeably less comments. have i lost my touch? was it too long winded? unsatisfactory call-outs? devoid of inflammatory remarks? too ... safe? or have i gotten too big for my britches? is this a sign i will never make it in the dog-eat-dog blogosphere? clearly, i didn't make nearly enough outlandish proclamations about my lifestyle as a lowlife wage-earner.

the thing is, as long as bill simmons' commentary on espn.com continues to keep me in a perpetual state of shock and awe, western assimilation will continue full speed ahead ... or ... something like that. so why am i so consumed by this man's writing? well, for starters, he makes the nba interesting. that should turn some heads. in fact, there's a good chance i'll start following the nba, simply because his player analysis, pithy commentary and storytelling style have me on the edge of my seat. i may even become a trailblazer fan. there. i said it.

david stern, shake this man's hand, send him an unsolicited christmas bonus, send him a bouquet of holiday muffins, he deserves it. there's no way i am the only half-assed sports fan out there who is captivated by his style. needless to say, he's getting added to my 'heroes' list on myspace.

in hindsight, i realize this post completely lacks substance, seems aimless and is downright boring.

next, i plan on crafting a musical year-in-review post, teeming with insight, reflection, elitism and hopefully something for the kids.