**eastward movement is included

20061027

a melody by no means delicate but genuinely hopeful.


YES. i have to work this weekend. a lot. NO, i'm not upset about that ... well, maybe a little. but YES, this is what i went to school for. am i losing my mind? YES, without question ... but that is a separate issue.

i'm tired of defending my choices. what's the deal with people giving you 'that look' when you tell them you have 'obligations' outside of watching bad network television and drinking beer? this sincerely perplexes me.

i've been subjecting myself to this wave of 'humility' for some time now; i'd say it started several years ago when i hated my living situation sophomore year of college, and it's continually strengthened up to this point. this may sound like predictably repetitive and tired rhetoric on my part, but i'm becoming convinced this terribly addictive 'earthy' attitude of the northwest is, in fact the best fit for me. {kansas city showcases some of this as well, but it is terribly devoid of a necessary progressiveness that i'm surrounded by out here.}

furthermore, i don't lose my temper often, and i feel like i'm relatively grounded. i sometimes say outrageous things {mostly for show?} but that's just because i can be a jerk and typically find our day-to-day minutiae rather empty and banal. but i digress ... it's just that every now and then i get punched in the face with a stinging fistfull of ignorance; i'm talking a brass-knuckled bitch-slap coupled by a square kick to the groin, and i'm left fucking speechless.

the point: the other night i was just reminded how dangerously simple it is for people to become so influenced, corrupted, and disillusioned ... simply by a new set of surroudings. is that really all it takes to fall off the reality wagon? a new, big city? apparently ...

yes, i myself am in a new set of surroundings, i am loving my new living situation, my new home, my new 'friends,' ... but i really don't think i've lost track of reality. at least i hope not. how i arrived at this conclusion is not important. i just know that i possess a sincere feeling of sympathy, not anger towards anyone that naively indoctrinates the consummate mindset of perfection and impeccability of one's 'place.' it's immature. it's terribly uncultivated. and it's insulting.

i guess this is just me at my best; annoyed and disappointed at the same time, hopelessly idealistic and wishing the world would pull it's head out of it's ass. maybe i'm less connected with reality than i had early thought ...

on a lighter note : the latest rotation ::

deftones - white pony.
my morning jacket - at dawn.
heartless bastards - all this time.
fugazi - in on the kill-taker.
dj shadow - endroducing ...
tv on the radio - return to cookie mountain {can't stop listening to it.}
the national - alligator {still goin' strong.}
ambulance - LP.
of montreal - satanic panic in the attic.
jose gonzales - veneer.
dismemberment plan - emergency & i.
bb king - live at cook county jail. {okay, so i only listened to this once ... but i woke up needing some blues one morning.}

it seems as if there's some heavy stuff in there, both lyrically and sonically, but i think my choices are merely a reflection of my mood and state of mind as of late. take that for what it's worth.

- so how many people have changed their myspace photo now that halloween has passed?

- i think i'm starting to grow out of {get sick of} myspace. i still don't plan on joining the facebook.

- what has two thumbs and couldn't be happier he's not in the state of missouri as every bud light swillin' god-fearing bmw driving cardinal fan celebrates the most statistically inept and drop-dead ordinary world series champion ever known? ehhh ... this guy.

irresistibly,

Tunde Adebimpe

3 comments:

sloring said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

i need some northwest....

Reverb said...

we are all indoctrinated in our own way. how did you state it, influenced, corrupeted, and disillusioned? what do you think our education was my friend? You, just like me are a product of your surroundings and while there is nothing in this world that can be called 'reality' there is a saying, something about everything being 'realative.' I think that's about as real as it gets. i've made some decisions in the past couple of years that i didn't really ever see myself making, and out of it i've learned this. don't ever assume that you understand somebody elses perspective, don't ever measure yourself against a lifestyle, and learn what it means to be content. likewise, I'll steal from Steven Covey, "seek first to understand, then be understood."

As for your living situation sophomore year, boy can I ever relate to that.

Keep it real, hopefully we'll see you around Christmas.

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New York, New York, United States
I take myself too seriously most of the time and I am trying to do that less. I remind some people of Woody Allen. I occationally indulge in the weekend camping trip. I adamantly support the Kansas City Royals baseball club. My identity is wrapped up in a few simple things, most of which are continuously displayed on this here blog.

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