i'm wearing a black shirt and tan pants.

i'm not sure if i completely understand my thoughts and my surroundings and my moods and how they seem to interact and depend on one another, but lately, with more than enough time to become more familiar with these dependencies and shortcomings, they somehow come together and make sense.

i don't really understand how a cloudy and dynamically ominous grey sky can somehow make me feel good, but it does. today, i felt at home ... for the first time. i've been looking forward to this ... a simultaneous feeling of delight and peace with everything around me ... days like today. the weather can't make up it's mind - it vascilates between fall and summer, a slight muggy-ness in the air, the pavement is still slippery wet from the standard northwest spritz of morning drizzle. why does this feel so good?

i spent half my lunch drinking my coffee at stumptown, reading {struggling} through house of leaves, attempting to make sense of a novel whose purpose to help one make sense of their surroundings/relationships/life ... makes sense, right? and during the 1.5 block walk home to my office i couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by undulating {supposedly lost} creative energy and a genuine sense of comfort in my surroundings. i was literally shaking with a need to create or write or talk or scream or run or something. at the same time i wanted to stop and sit on the corner and wait out this intense feeling of pure satisfaction.

i've come to realize that sublime moments of clarity such as these, albeit fleeting {for me, at least} are rare. a flawless combination of caffeine, temperature, light, and mood ... they rarely come. i'm okay with that, though because that makes their significance {importance?} that much more ... eh, important. it's like coming off an intense high, although the source is less synthetic than a pill or a plant or some sort of fermented beverage.

in any event, the result of this adrenaline-induced blathering will most likely end here; with a blog post. the time has come to resume autocad drafting duties.

regards.