ten reasons i need to break down and buy a fan:
10. it's 11 pm, i'm sitting in my apartment writing this pathetic blog, and i'm covered in sweat.
9. earlier today, within two hours of my sunday bike ride, i filled my thirty two ounce nalgene to the brim twice. trips to the bathroom? one.
8. my shower after my bike ride lasted 20 minutes. by the sixth minute i had completely shut off the hot valve.
7. i'm so irritable that simple annoyances {dropping a pencil, spilling water, no myspace messages} forces me into a turrets-like fit of rage marked by childlike cursing, stomping and unprecedented levels of self-loathing.
6. i no longer sympathize or feel compassion for the homeless. i respect the crap out of them.
5. i think the onions in my cabinet have started to peel themselves.
4. my societal cynicism has reached an all time high.
3. the mere thought of a sweater/jacket/scarf even touching my skin makes me nauseous.
2. my shampoo has lost all viscosity.
1. two words; bedsheet sweatring.
so, clearly a breakdown was imminent, so i treated myself to a trip to the local walgreens and bought a fan. i still feel like complete shit, but things could always be worse. i wonder what the weather is like in lebanon right now?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
3 comments:
a few things.
one, why are you so fucking stoic about not having a fan, it's not like you're pussing out by getting a/c.
two, why the hell don't you have a/c?
corb-sounds like you rode out to portland on the cynic train (careful it's a hard one to get off of). don't loose the tone though, it's actually quite enjoyable to read.
oh by the way, how hot is it out there? We had 115 degree heat index lst week.
Post a Comment